When should I tell the woman I’m dating that I suffer from bipolar disorder?

When is the right time to break the news?

Dear MTN,

I have read your column for a long time and always admire the advice you give your readers. I am a 32 year old male that has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I have been on medication for the illness since I was a teenager and my symptoms are well controlled. I would like to begin dating but I do not know when the right time to tell a woman about my condition would be. Do I tell her on the first date? 

Do I tell her after a month? Do I wait until we are in a committed relationship? I do not want to hide my condition but I also know the social stigma related to bi-polar disorder. I am concerned that if I tell the women I date right away I will be automatically dismissed however I would not want them to feel deceived finding out later on in the relationship. How do you suggest I approach such a sensitive subject?  

Thanks for your help.  
– Nick

Dear Nick,
The situation you are in is a difficult one.

I would not tell a woman on a first date or even a second date. I would only sit down with her and explain your situation if you knew that this was a relationship you would want to pursue long term.

At some point the two of you will become closer and closer and it will feel comfortable for you to be open. Since it is a delicate subject that can at times be misunderstood be prepared to explain exactly what bi-polar disorder is, and how it is being treated.

Only you know the extent of your condition and how it is being managed so even when you are assuring her it is under control be honest and forthcoming in regards to any issues it might cause the relationship.

The right woman will understand and love you for you. 

Good Luck!
- MTN

My boyfriend could be a criminal - should we split up?

He may have a criminal past - should I trust him and move on?

Dear MTN,

I really need your help as soon as possible. I started dating this great guy over a month ago. He is everything I have ever dreamed of. Last night he told me he loved me and said we shouldn't have any secrets from each other. He told me he just got out of jail six months ago and he was accused of raping a girl. He promised me he didn't do it. He said he was framed and the police didn't investigate properly and he couldn't afford a good lawyer. He also said he could have agreed to settle but that would mean he was admitted to wrong doing. He went to trial because he was innocent, but the jury convicted him, since his lawyer was terrible.

He begged me to stay with him. I am 39 and really would like to get married and have children. He's 47 and says he wants the same thing. He is a contractor and his company even took him back because they always believed he was innocent. I really think he is being sincere. However, if my family ever knew this about him, they would kill me. I also asked him for the details, but he said that was in his past and he never wants to look back. He said I need to respect that if we are going to stay together.

I trust your advice and really need it now. Do you think I should continue dating him. I also think I love him. I believe him. Do you think I am being a fool? Please let me know what you think about this.

Thanks. - Trisha

Dear Trisha,

I would love to know how you met this guy. I am guessing it was at a bar, or on the Internet. With both cases, there are no criminal background checks. Only you know if you can live or even date a guy who was convicted of rape. Remember, you only have been dating a month. A month is a short time for a guy to know if he is in love with you. It also sounds like he has an answer for everything. And why won't he share the details with you and explain the entire situation to make you feel more comfortable about dating him?

It's probably because he doesn't care.

Ask yourself if you would rather date and marry a guy without a criminal record. If the answer is yes than I suggest you make an appointment with my service. Everyone goes through a criminal, felony background check. Therefore, you will never have to worry about the guys in my service. We have 1200 of the greatest singles in New York. Call 516-444-2861 for a complimentary appointment with me personally and please mention that you wrote in to me. We will take great care of you so you don't have to settle. I have a feeling you are just settling with this guy because you want to get married. Good luck and let me know what you decide to do. - MTN

Maureen Tara Nelson is a private matchmaker for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She has won Best Matchmaker for the year for over four years in a row. She has appeared on numerous television programs, has been written up in many magazine articles and heard on many radio programs as well. She offers everyone a free consultation in either her Long Island or Manhattan office. For more information, please call 516-444-2861. Mention this article and receive a Fall discount.

Tough questions - is it okay for a woman to ask a hot guy out?

Should girls ask boys  out?

Hi Matchmaker,

I read your column every week and I was wondering if you could help me. I have been interested in a guy for quite some time now and he appears to be interested as well but has not asked me out yet. 

Is it okay for the woman to make the first move or should I wait for him to ask me?

 I know you have said in the past it is important to let the man be the man but how long should I wait? And if he is not asking is he even really interested? Please help. I am clueless!

 Thanks - Samantha

Dear Samantha,

A lot of women ask me this same question, and the answer is simple. If a man is interested in you he will ask you out. I understand it can be confusing because the two of you are texting, talking and flirting, but always let him make the first move.

I suggest the next time you talk to him to casually mention the subject of getting together and then see what he says. You should not be doing all of the work. You also should not be wasting your time talking with a guy if all he wants out of this is a friend to talk to on the phone...

After he responds, if he doesn't bring up getting together I would tell him straight out that you are really too busy to keep up the phone calls. That might be enough to light a fire under him and plan a date with you. Hopefully it does. Feel free to write me after his response. Good luck. - MTN

Maureen Tara Nelson is a private matchmaker for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She has won Best Matchmaker for the year for over four years in a row. She has appeared on numerous television programs, has been written up in many magazine articles and heard on many radio programs as well. She offers everyone a free consultation in either her Long Island or Manhattan office. For more information, please call 516-444-2861. Mention this article and receive a Fall discount.

Is going to a strip club the same as cheating on your partner?

Is looking at strippers the same as cheating?

Dear MTN,

I really need your advice about my boyfriend. We've been together for five years and we've never cheated on each other yet. John knows that is the one thing that I would never get over and I trust him completely. However his sister is getting married and the groom wants his bachelor party to be in Atlantic City at a strip club. I told him that I feel that going to a strip club is the same as cheating.

He promises he would never be with any of the strippers and said that he has to go since it's his sister's finance and his family would be mad at him if he didn't go. What kind of family does this? I told him if he goes I'm breaking up with him. 

He thinks I'm totally crazy and going overboard with this decision, but I really don't think it's appropriate if he goes. How do I convince him not to go? Thanks for your help, and I love your column. 

 - Marissa

Dear Marissa,

I too do not like strip clubs and would be very unhappy if I were in your situation. However this is how you feel and your boyfriend should be considerate of your feelings. I am sure if you both take time and discuss this situation that a reasonable compromise can be made.

Also before you get really upset over this make sure it really is going to happen. I've heard of many guys saying they want a bachelor party with strippers and in the end, because of all the girlfriends and wives of the guys attending, that it never actually happens. So don't go breaking up over something that you aren't sure of. I would also suggest talking with his sister and see how she feels about the idea. She might not even know and once she finds out might cancel the plans for him. Good luck to you.

P.S. Guys getting married...don't plan a strip club for your bachelor party, it causes so many problems for the guys that you are inviting!

For more information on Maureen Tara Nelson’s Matchmaking program, please check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com.

Call 516-444-2861 to schedule a free consultation in either their Long Island or Manhattan locations. Mention this column and receive a summer discount. Maureen Tara Nelson has been successfully Matchmaking for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories.

Can long distance relationships work?

Welcome my single readers

Summer Specials are soon ending on 8/30/12 for Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking.  If you are single and looking for a committed relationship, call soon for your complimentary interview and meet with Maureen Tara Nelson personally.

Dear MTN,

Recently I went on vacation, went to a concert, and hit it off with one of the guys who was in the band. We hooked up twice and we almost had sex. He comes to the NY area fairly often so although I would not see him as often as I might like I would be able to see him when he played here or on weekends when he was not on tour. I did feel a great connection with him, and I do not even have to lie about liking his music, however my concern is the constant distance as well as the fact that he is a musician and actor that meets girls in every city his band plays in. I do not want to be just another groupie. Is this a relationship worth pursuing? Thank you for all your help as always. - Nicole

Dear Nicole,

You will need a lot of confidence to date a guy that is in a band and travels a lot. Since you have only gone out with him twice, I would suggest giving him a chance and seeing down the road if he is looking for a committed relationship. Although I am not a fan of long distance relationships, since he is in NY often, I think it's worth pursuing. I have a feeling you will find out very soon if he is right for you or not. I wish you the best of luck with him. Dating a guy in a band is very exciting, good luck! - MTN

PLEASE CONTINUE TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT mtnmatchmaking@aol.com.

For more information on Maureen Tara Nelson’s Private Matchmaking program, please check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com. Call 516-444-2861 to schedule a free consultation in either their Long Island or Manhattan locations. Mention this column and receive a fantastic summer discount. Maureen Tara Nelson has been successfully Matchmaking for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She is also the only matchmaker that shows her clien’ts photos, therefore there is no blind dating in her program. If you are single, emotionally and financially stable, and looking for a committed relationship/marriage, give Maureen Tara Nelson a call.

How can I learn more about matchmaking?

Welcome my single readers

Summer Specials are soon ending on 8/30/12 for Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking.  If you are single and looking for a committed relationship, call soon for your complimentary interview and meet with Maureen Tara Nelson personally.

Dear MTN,

I just wanted to let you know that I saw you on a talk show this Saturday on CBS, channel 10.  You seem like you really love Matchmaking.  How can I find out more about your service, and are you also in NYC?  Thanks, - Sean

Dear Sean,

Thank you so much for showing interest.  You may look up our website at mtnmatchmaking.  Yes, we have an office in Melville, Long Island as well as in NYC, by Penn Station.  I'm looking forward to hopefully meeting you.  - MTN

PLEASE CONTINUE TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT mtnmatchmaking@aol.com

For more information on Maureen Tara Nelson’s Private Matchmaking program, please check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com. Call 516-444-2861 to schedule a free consultation in either their Long Island or Manhattan locations. Mention this column and receive a fantastic summer discount. Maureen Tara Nelson has been successfully Matchmaking for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She is also the only matchmaker that shows her clien’ts photos, therefore there is no blind dating in her program. If you are single, emotionally and financially stable, and looking for a committed relationship/marriage, give Maureen Tara Nelson a call.

Where to go on a first date - a high-end bistro or casual chain restaurant?

Choosing the right location for that perfect romantic meal

Welcome my single readers

We at Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking wish all singles a very happy and exciting summer. Summer is the best time of year to meet someone, so if you are single, make sure you are taking advantage of the great weather and do something new and fun outdoors as a hobby... it's an excellent way to meet someone.

Dear MTN,


I was set up on a blind date from a friend. She told me that the guy is a very successful and attractive man in his late forties. I was very excited to meet him until he called and suggested we meet at Applebees. What do you think of his choice as a first date? I told my friend that if he is so successful why wouldn't he have selected a higher end restaurant? I really want to be open minded, yet I am not compatible with a man who thinks Applebees is a high end restaurant? Please let me know your views on this. My friend Margaret is a successful client of yours and she let me read your do's and don'ts that you give out to your new clients. I agreed with every one of them. I value your opinion. - Mary

Dear Mary,

I am happy to hear that you say you are open minded, because I believe you need to give this guy a chance, even though you don't agree with his first date choice. First of all, you are assuming this guy, who might turn out to be the love of your life, thinks Appelbees is a high end restaurant? Why? He never said that. He simply suggested meeting there for your first date.

I advise all my clients to keep their first date very casual - going out only for a drink or two (maximum) or lunch or brunch on the weekend. He might simply consider this place to be a casual atmosphere to eliminate any stress for both of you.

Also, why would you need or require a high end restaurant for a first date? That would put more pressure on both of you. I would never suggest that for a first date.

My answer is simple. Keep the date simple. Go to Appelbees and keep an open mind on hopefully your future husband. Dating is stressful enough. Enjoy your first date. I hope you like him. - MTN

PLEASE CONTINUE TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT mtnmatchmaking@aol.com.

For more information on Maureen Tara Nelson’s Private Matchmaking program, please check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com. Call 516-444-2861 to schedule a free consultation in either their Long Island or Manhattan locations. Mention this column and receive a fantastic summer discount. Maureen Tara Nelson has been successfully Matchmaking for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She is also the only matchmaker that shows her client’s photos, therefore there is no blind dating in her program. If you are single, emotionally and financially stable, and looking for a committed relationship/marriage, give Maureen Tara Nelson a call.